What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize