did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
