you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
