He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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