I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize