Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
