If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
