I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
