Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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