thus making me awesome and them whores
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Who died my cat blue again?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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