You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
