theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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