This dress was meant to end up on your floor
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
i out mim tonsoeep
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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