she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
