i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
