someone get that fucking seahorse.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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