Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
