She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
