so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Everything about him screamed your future.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
