i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
