I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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