Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
