i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
