And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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