I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
