I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
