The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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