Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
