Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
