I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
