Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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