I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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