if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
