Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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