I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
