Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I have post one night stand depression
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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