none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
