Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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