There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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