is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
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