Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Are my feet made of real feet?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize