Is it normal to miss your booty call?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize