i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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