I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
