Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize