Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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