so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
She said her name was "party"
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
