That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
