I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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