Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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