Dual....:-)
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize