Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
