I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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