I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
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