so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Randomize
