I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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