Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Come share oat with me in your robe
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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