We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
