dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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