he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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