i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
How's work?
Spinning.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
